Red vs Blue REality!
by Starwulf11
Summary: This is what happens after the events of Valhalla. The Reds and Blues duke it out in challanges, one person is voted out every couple Eps. Spoilers for those of you who haven't seen Reconstruction,or Recreation! There will be around 21-22 chapters.
1. Episode 1: Genesis Pt1

_**Note:This is about a RvB Reality Show appearing 2 years after the end of blood gulch chronicles, Spoilers: If you have seen only blood gulch and not Reconstruction, Relocated or Recreation there may be some spoilers. This is my first fan fiction so please review to help me!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue nor Halo 3.**

**Red VS Blue REality **

**Episode 1: Genesis Part 1**

_Somewhere in space; 2.0 years after the war:_

"Commander, any word of the arrival on blood gulch?" a dark figure on the screen said.

" No sir, they have not come in yet." The commander staring blankly at the screen.

"Oh-are you sure?"

"What?"

"I mean I need this! My wife has been trying to make me clean the house, my sons trying to tell me his so-called problems at school. I need some entertainment in my life!" The figure whined.

"OK-bring them in for a landing, sir, they have arrived back on blood gulch! Isn't that great!Were you saying something?!"

The figured paused, then coughed, "Nothing, just get communications up!"

"Yes sir-"

"NOW!"

_Blood Gulch Outpost, Blood gulch:_

"OK, easy, I am an advanced AI you know!" A blue figure appeared out of the first ship, being carried by two patrol officers.

"We do not really care who you are!" they throw him in the patch of grass. He hears the voices talking to another voice then he hears the thumping noise that he made when he was thrown (Rudely) on the desert floor, which seemed so familiar.

"Hello there, my name is, caboose, and- church!" The voice stunned him, should he even get up? Caboose just being there might kill him! He got up anyway.

"Oh god, I thought we were getting transferred."

" Nope, were back on- what is this place again?"

Church sighed, "Blood gulch, Caboose, Blood gulch..."

" YAY!- Remember- Remember we were on Valhalla with Tucker and Tex and newly formed Sheila, AHHHHH good times!" Caboose ran around in circles.

" Yes I remember, Caboose." ,he thought of how Caboose did not recognize the ol' outpost, it was different, eh, at least he got to keep the MARK VI armor here.

"What the hell are you blue guys doing here!" another familiar but less happy voice echoed through the valley.

"Oh god who is that Caboose!?" Church whispered to caboose who was looking at the figure.

"It's Sim-Simms-Simon-ughhhh..."

"What caboose, who?"

The voice replied," Its simmons!"

Church turned," Oh man, what are you doing here?"

"Some jerks from MSNC abducted me and Grif!"

"Us, too!Wait Grif?"

All of a sudden a high screaming voice flew through the air, an orange MARK VI suit slammed on the ground!

"Good lookout, Grif!" Simmons said, looking at the body.

"Thank....y..ou.",Grif said aching while getting up.

Simmons looked up,"Do you guys know why we are here for?"

Suddenly, multiple vultures surrounded the sky.

Church replied,"I don't know but I've got a bad feeling about this!"

A voice peered from in the vulture...

"GRIF GET UP! NOW! Old sarge is back in buisness!"

Grif struggled to get up then said," Who...invited...this...jerk-off!"

_10 minutes later..._

" OK team...were's lopez?",Sarge emmited.

"B..ac...k he...r...re si.....r",Lopez wrestled with his words.

"Good, and Im glad we added the english setting to your programming Lopez!"

"He talks too slow! We can't even make out what he sais half the time!",Grif mumbled.

Sarge turned,"Drop and give me fifty."

"But..."

"FIFTY!"

Next came Shiela, Doc, then Sister, then even the Freelancer Washington, Donut, some Red grunt, some random Alien, and Andy the bomb's ghost.

"Man everyone that we know who's not either dead or dying is here!",Doc claimed.

"Wrong, Andy the bomb is a ghost, and the Alien, well Ive never seen the Alien before...",Church said, looking out at the red's with his trustee sniper rifle.

"What about Tucker?",Caboose questioned, rather frustrated.

"Dude, I've been here since they dropped Sarge and Donut!",He turned to Church,"Hey, Church can I see the sniper!"

"No!"

"Aww man!..."

Caboose laughed," Oh sorry...nice to see tou again Tucker...wait, DONUT'S HERE!"

Donut and Caboose's eyes met, they ran torward eachother, laughing giggily, they jumped and smashed into eachother.

"Idiots...",Sarge claimed.

"At LEAST you now have some common sense sir!" Grif smirked.

"Shut up Grif!"

"Good one sir" Simmons sqeaked.

"Simmons go get me rice!"

"MEHHH!" Simmons started to bolt to get some rice....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Church sighed," There's one person were missing boys."

Caboose answered,"Andy!?"

"No..."

The final vulture took off...

"Sir the last of them are here!",Tucker saluted.

Church looked up, it was her....it was..."Jenkins!!"

"Hi sir, did you forget about me again?"

"Yeah jenkins... I guess I did."

"Eh...maybe next time."

Another voice came out," Hey church..." Tex walked torwards him.

"TEX!!", they gave a hug, but quickly seperated, acting discusted.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY", Caboose runs around in circles again.

"QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"A figure appeared on another vulture.

"Gotta capture the flag!"

"Shutup red knave-grunt-dude." The figure said." What is your name again?"

"Rudolf..."

"Wow!",The figure howled.

Sarge yelled," Why the hell are we out here, black guy, what's your name?

"It's captain Black-Fellow, got it."

"Ohh- thats actually a cool name.",Simmons croaked.

Church replied," yes-why in the stupitity of rats-nest are we here?"

"Why to compete in the first ever Blood gultch reality show of corse...MUHAHAHAHA!!!"

"GASP!!!"

**_To be continued..._**


	2. Episode 2: Genesis Pt2

_**Note: This is the next episode, I am doing the first two episodes back-to-back.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Red Vs Blue, or halo,2,and 3.**

**Red VS Blue Reality**

**Episode 2: Genesis Part 2**

"A reality show!? Really! That's stupid!",Grif yelled at the large figure on the projection coming from the vulture.

"Well if you want to leave, then you won't get the excellent prizes in store for you! Hey, what are the prizes again?"

A man whispered in the figures ear. "I don't think they will stay for dignity, even if they don't have it...."

"Hey!",Church blurted out.

"Maybe you can give the blues dignity, we want something else.",Sarge insisted.

"OK ok, here, how about 1 Million dollars we have here for your team."

"Sounds good to me, Sarge?"

" I still think you should give the blues dignity if they even had a chance to win. But yeah that seems fine to me." Sarge agreed.

"OK, one million dollars to the team that wins!"

"I'm going to buy a new ghost when I win!",claimed Donut.

"I will buy a vulture, for me, and Sheila, to fly in!",laughed Caboose.

"No, Caboose, never will I ever fly a vulture again.",Sheila turned, and shot a cannon, nearly hitting caboose.

"Never mind...",Caboose said as he hid behind Donut.

The dark figure returned with a piece of paper, "Now, here is were we pick teams. Sarge you are leader of red team and Church, blue team."

"No duh"

"Pick your teams, here is the list."

Red Team Leader: Sarge

Blue Team Leader: Church

LIST:

1. Alien

2. Andy, the ghost bomb

3. Caboose

4. Doc

5. Donut

6. Grif

7. Jenkins

8. Lopez

9. Rudolf

10. Sheila

11. Simmons

12. Sister

13. Tex

14. Tucker

15. Washington

"We would have uneven teams.",exclaimed Church.

"I know the last one that isn't picked will be sent home first!Hahaha!"

Grif stammered, "That's pure evil!"

"Yeah, I am pretty evil aren't I? NOW PICK! Red goes first."

"Simmons!"

"Tex!"

"Agent Washington!"

"You can't do that!"

"Were does it say I can't!"

"Fine, Tucker, get over here!"

"Yay!"

"Grif, get over here!"

"Why, god, why!?", Grif questioned.

"Sheila!"

"Donut!"

"I choose Doc!"

"Uhhhhh....."

"Sarge, pick sister!"

"Ummmmmmm", while Sarge thought, Grif jumped up and down put a sign that said, "Pick me!" next to Sister and made clanging noises around her.

"Lopez!"

"You suck sir!"

"Why thank you Grif!"

"Huh, Sister, Alien, Andy, Rudolf, and Caboose left."

"Sister!"

"Yes, now I can finish my blue cheer I have been working on for the past two years!", she held it up to Tex.

"Go blu go! U r really awesome, you don't suc ballZ....Wow, this is greaat.",Tex joked.

" I know, huh, 3,562 more lines to go!"

Sarge continued, "I'll take...Alien!"

"Great, not much to choose from....Rudolf, Andy and Caboose."

"What about me sir!?", Jenkins claimed.

"Oh, I forgot, ok Jenkins."

"Damn, they got Jenkins!"

"Sir, you forgot about him too",Simmons coughed.

"No Simmons, it's called tactics!"

"Rudolf, your on my team!"

"Sir I will get the flag for you!"

"Yeah, sure....just get over here."

"Hmmm, Caboose, or Andy!?"

Church thought, "_they're both useless, at least caboose can attack, If, I ever give decide to give him a gun again, Plus, Andy has a mouth on him."_

"Caboose, get over here", Church sighed.

"Yes! I won't let you down Church, lets sing the best friends forever song!"

Church sighed again.

The dark figure then spoke, " Excellent, Andy, your gone!!!"

Andy had a hat and his suitcase ready, he laughed then said, "Sayonara suckers!"

The dark figure grinned, "See ya next time viewers at home! Here on last look at the teams!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blue:

1. Chruch

2. Tex

3. Tucker

4. Sheila

5. Doc

6. Sister

7. Jenkins

8. Caboose

Red:

1. Sarge

2. Simmons

3. Agent Washington

4. Grif

5. Donut

6. Lopez

7. Alien

8. Rudolf

_**To be continued...**_


	3. Episode 3: Capture the flag!

_**Note: New episode every Tuesday. I hope you enjoy! Review, good or bad, please! Also I have a new community for Red Vs Blue, STAFF WANTED.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Red Vs Blue, or Bungie.**

**Red Vs Blue Reality **

**Episode 3: Capture the flag!**

_Blue Base:_

"So all we need to do is win these challenges and then we will get 1 million dollars!" Caboose asked.

Tucker smiled, "Dude, you were right there!", Tucker seemed to have a better relationship with Caboose the last time they were at Blood gulch. But they still thought each-other were stupid.

While they were fighting, Church spoke to the rest of his team, "Alright, guys, we need to win this for our team so we can get that money! The Captain said we need to get something from their base."

"...And how do you suppose we do this?" asked Jenkins.

"Hes right, how?", Doc questioned.

"Who's right?" Church looked at Doc for a second then continued, "We need to work together, how else?"

"We could cheat!" Sister claimed. "I learned this really cool trick from the traveling circus while you guys were away! I could distract them in every challenge!"

"No, your brother's.....wait what?!"

"How about we just wait to see what we have to get in the next challenge?" asked Tex.

There was a long pause.... " yeah that sounds good.", Church said, embarrassed.

"Idiots!" Tex turned around and walked outside just to see Tucker and Caboose fighting about who gets to kill Church during this challenge. She just shook her head and walked away.

_Red base:_

" Washington! We need to figure out what there doing over there!"

"I'm sorry, I don't do reconnaissance. To tell you the truth, I shouldn't be here, I should be back in ja-"

Sarge cut in,"Yeah, ER, whatever, Lopez would you do it?"

"Yeeessss, s...i...r...i...ll...do....i..tt....but...y..ou...ow...e..m..e"

"Excellent, have a report in an hour..."

"Ba...ck....si...r"

"Wow, that was fast! What are they doing?"

"Fighting....sir....hey....look....im...talking...yessssssssss....n....oo...da...m..n."

"Fighting, you say, good now we can sneak in and grab...what are we supposed to grab?"

Rudolf reported, "he hasn't told us yet."

Simmons ran in,"Captain Black-whatever is on the screen!"

Both the Blue and Red team piled out. A vulture came down, a recording came up on the side of the gulch.

"Welcome, im not going to waste anytime, your first challenge is to grab the enemy flag,whoever wins, the team gets one step closer to the million. Whoever loses, one person WILL be going home."

"OK, but what about-"

"Begin!"

Both teams ran back to their bases, planning the attack.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Get the flag!" Rudolf jumped excitedly in the air.

"Blargity blarg blarg!" Both Rudolf and Alien shouted this.

"Damn it, does anyone know what he's saying!?"

"QUIET!",Sarge shouted, everyone was immediately quiet and st down.

"Everyone will stay here and try to protect our flag, while Donut and 'Get the flag' boy are going to retrieve the flag."

_Blue Base:_

"OK, Caboose, you take Sheila and attack their base while Tucker moves in and out with the flag!"

They all agreed.

Both of the Red retrievers were driving the warthog at full speed, swerving around the blue base to the back. Both Rudolf and Donut bolted to the blue base door. Just as Sheila met Tucker and caboose and they started driving toward their base. "Let's get that flag!", Donut cheered.

Rudolf and Donut ran in quietly, then hid behind a box when Doc and Sister were coming.

"Do you think Tucker will like my new waxed body armor? It shines!"

"Enough about Tucker! I thought you liked me!?", Doc whined.

"Just because I was naked for regulation checkup, and that weekend in Vegas, does not mean I like you for the last time!",Sister looked down and Doc was on the ground. "Your unconscious, that is SO hot!"

BAM! Donut looked over the body of Sister, "Bitch!"

"HO! Watch your language, im only 5 years old!"

"Whoa! I wish I was that young, ahhh, good times!"

Rudolf grabbed the flag and they ran.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Go Sheila!" Caboose yelled as he sat in the cockpit, Sheila was attempting to go faster, but was having trouble.

"This is a new model, Caboose, I can't go that fast!"

Tucker joked, "Yeah c'mon Sheila you can do it hit the gas pedal a little mo-WOAH!",Sheila came to a complete stop.

"ANYMORE CRITICISMS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!?"

There was a continuous "No."

"Let's go then."

"Hey Caboose, you and Shelia stay here while I go grab it!"

"Okay Dokey, Arty Chokey"

Tucker sighed, "Whatever, Caboose, It's your world, were just living in it." He ran in.

"Yes! My world is awesome!!!! Although I don't see any giant hamsters around. Huh..."

"Firing main cannons!" _whoosh__, BAM!_

"Simmons's were under attack!", Sarge yelled.

"I figured as much sir, what should we do!?"

"Fire our cannonballs!",Grif and Simmons carried a rusty old cannon up the stairs.

"Here you go sir!"

"...Grif, you know I can't use a cannon, my hands will get all black!"

Grif sighed, "Just tell me when to fire sir..."

Lopez and Alien were by the flag, guarding it while tucker saw them and hid.

"So is it nice at snowbound?",asked Lopez

"Blarg, blargity blarg blarg?", the Alien questioned.

"No, I just pretend my voice is messed up so Sarge can't tell when im talking smack on him."

Tucker thought of an idea, "Lopez! Alien! Come out here to clip my toe-nail clippins!"

"Ye...s...sir....I...wi...ll...g...et..r..i..gh..t..on...i...t...", both Lopez and Alien laughed as they walked up the stairs.

"Heh, too easy.", Tucker laughed as he ran out with the flag.

"Fire!"

_BAM!_

"Wow, Sarge is one of the best pirates I've ever seen!"

"I'm back! Sheila lets get out of here!"

"Okay! Hop on!"

"There getting away! Grif!"

"Sorry sir, im not fast enough!"

"I'll get it.", a voice said.

"Washington! Okay, but this is for professionals, if you get hurt-"

"I'll be fine, sir!" Washington took out his Spartan laser and jumped, high, above the clouds and came down, right behind Sheila. The laser charged up, Sheila yelled for Caboose to get out, which he didn't but Tucker got him out anyway.

Out emitted a large red ray of oblivion..._Boom!_

Caboose cried out, "Sheila!"

"Its...okay....Caboos....e..", Sheila's power died.

Tucker tried to drag the flag, but was stopped by Washington, "Sorry, Tucker, but I need the money for bail."

"It's...okay", Tucker was knocked unconscious.

Church and Tex saw and came out to the field, picking up their fallen comrades.

Washington was walking back victorious with Donut and Rudolf with the flag.

Halfway there, Washington felt, a presence, "Who's there!? Come out evil do-oer!"

Then Washington felt his head become very heavy, a cross chop to the back of the head, knocked him out cold!

"Thanks for the delivery punk!", Jenkins yelled as he took the flag.

"Were did Jenkins come from!?", Sarge screamed.

"I don't know sir!"

"Well, attack him!"

Cannons flew everywhere, Jenkins was too fast for them, he disappeared more times then a lagger in a Halo 3 game.

"We are here guys!" Donut claimed with glee.

" Hurry, stand on the platform!"

They stood on the platform with pride, the TV came on in the red base, the captain stood there.

"Congratulations on winning put the flag on the stand please."

Rudolf put it in the holder.

"Huh...that's....odd."

"What!? I got the flag for our team, sir!"

"It's saying that this is the wrong flag....did you even look at the flag?"

They all look at a Crayola drawn blue flag that says, God Bless Caboose on it.

"Goddammit, Donut, Rudolf!"

"It was Rudolf that grabbed the flag! Not me!"

"Is that true, Rudolf!?"

"Yes..."

"Imbecile! Idiot! Dumbness!"

_Blue Base:_

"Congrats, Blues! You won!"

"I can not believe you Caboose! You switching the flag was genius!"

"What flag? All I care about is...is..."

"Sheila?", Tucker asked.

"SHEILA!!", Caboose cried.

"Nice work, Jenkins."

"Thanks, sir, it's good to be recognized!" Church turned around.

"Who was I talking to?"

_Vote-out ceremony: _

" Now it is time to cast your votes..."

Each of them pressed a button to who they wanted to go home:

"The results are in...and...who's going home is....RUDOLF!"

"Fine, next time I'll be capturing the RED flag!", Rudolf angrily said while he went out to the vulture and it took him off the planet...

"Sorry Rudolf, you had to go.", Donut claimed.

"See ya round son...", Sarge said.

Black fellow smiled, "Get back to your base, tomorrow's another day!", They all leave. "See you all next time on Red VS Blue Reality!"

_**To be continued... **_


	4. Episode 4: Meet Sinister Black

_**Note: Hey guys sorry this is coming in a few days late, I thought I was getting back on Sunday from my trip, but I came back Wednesday! Anyways here's the chapter!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Red Vs Blue, or Bungie.**

**Red Vs Blue Reality **

**Episode 4: Meet Sinister Black**

_The camera pans into several shots of the blue team during a diary opening from church:_

_Day 3:_

_The day started out as any other, the sun beamed down on the gulch, it was so hot, even Tex was talking to walls, calling it Candy. Caboose worships the Sun as a god, for it acted as king, king of blood gulch that is... if it had a crown and a scepter, it would be king of the galaxy, it seemed like. Tucker, Sister, and Doc seem to be doing nothing, and Sheila is still down. I wonder how hot it is in sandtrap._

_--Leonard L. Church_

"Hey, Church! Come here, I think that Blackfellow is on the side of the gulch again!", Tex called out.

Church sighed, "It's just a hallucination!", He started to write a bit more in his journal when Tucker interrupted him this time.

"No, I see him too!", the reds piled out too to see the grand hologram video on the wall, " The red guys are here, too!"

Church put his pen down, "What?! I'm coming!", he ran outside to see the dark figure, just sitting there, everyone waited, there was just a crunching noise.

"Uh, hello!", Sister yelled. He snorted and his chair fell backward, there was a long silence...

Suddenly, he got back to his feet, the others saw he was eating frozen yogurt.

Donut and Alien exchanged angry looks then stared at the black figure, "Hey where's our frozen dessert!"

"Blarg Blarg!"

"Oh I almost forgot we have to feed you! Excellent, it gives me a chance to, heh, formally introduce myself! Meet me at the food court, it's past the the alien landing or our vote-off area. Goodbye."

A split second later, he was gone. Without any words exchanged, both teams ran like wild cheetah's in Africa. They couldn't wait to get out of the heat. They reached the alien landing, and just like that, there was a large shiny, architectural, metal door with a beautiful golden door handle.

"I never saw that last time I was here!", Doc stated.

"Us neither, but it was dark...", Sarge claimed as he examined the door, hit it a few times then kicked it, he than proceeded to grab his leg in pain as he fell to the ground."

The door opened, out came and ugly Brute, wearing a chef hat and chef apron that said "KISS THE KOOK", with the first K in KOOK backwards. He snarled then let out, "Come in."

The contestants flowed into their seat, which were divided into red and blue tables,and waited, the Brute came back with a plates, in the center, many large black slugs. Tucker and Caboose almost threw up, as Donut actually did throw up. "What is this, this, crap!", Simmons screamed.

"A delicacy!", the Brute howled with laughter as most of them threw it out.

The Alien chowed down, he slivered the first one then took as many as he could and bit the heads, then the back, then the remains of the destroyed creature.

Donut sat up and saw no worms on anyone else's plate, he sighed with relief as he looked at the alien completely murdering the worms via his giant mouth. He threw up, hitting the table and knocking himself unconscious.

The Brute stopped laughing, "Now are you all ready to meet your host.", he then realized something then he hit the wall behind him. "Who still owes me my paycheck!", He growled.

"Just shut-up and finish the speech I gave you!", a voice slipped.

He sighed, "Here is the magnificent, better than anyone else, Sinister Black!"

"Who?", Sarge asked, all of a sudden, an explosion hit the left side of the room. A large black figure came out of the ashes.

"Hello losers!", Donut and Caboose clapped, Tex got up after hearing 'Losers', and Jenkins just waved at him. "I am Captain Sinister A. Black!"

"I thought it was Blackfellow?"

"I lied!", he shrugged.

Sarge smirked, "I knew his name was not THAT cool!"

"Your right sir, it's even cooler!", Grif cheered. They finally agreed with each other, Sarge looked at his new prodigy, Grif, the stars aligned, there was a blue moon out, and Sarge gave him a giant bear hug.

Sinister looked, "Uh-OK, any questions before I tell you your next challenge!"

Church got up, "Why do you hide behind that cloak!? Show yourself!"

He just smiled, "You really want to see the _real_ me?

"Yeah!", the contestants cheered watching as the cloak was drawn off, they stared in amazement, even the alien was shocked, Donut got up but fainted from seeing this horrifying creature.

A half-human half-alien being stood in front of them, a black Recon armor with a hunched back suddenly turning into as tall as Church, who was the tallest of the contestants, his left shoulder and arms had holes which the black, slimy worms from before were coming out and in of his imperfect form. His back was like a hunters back, long tentacles waved high in the air. A black nightmarish claw-like-being, was coming from out of his head. He and the Chef just laughed as they stood in horrifying terror.

"Well, that's me.", He said quickly. He put his cloak back on and hunched again. He looked at his watch and stared angrily, "Crap! Were out of time! See you next Tuesday viewers! We'll see what the idiots have to say about my figure! Then well get to the next challenge were someone will be voted out see you next time!"

_**To be continued...**_

_**That's the chapter, I was planning on a whole episode with a vote-off but I wanted to get an episode to you!**_


	5. Episode 5: Wild Hogs

_**Note: Hey everyone! Back to back chapters basically because I failed to get the fourth chapter on time so you get a Christmas in July, merry Christmas! **_

_**Also one of my best friends has a new story out and it's a crossover of basically everything,so it's kind of hard to find unless you actually search for it, so why don't the people that are reading this check his out!? His name is LordAuron61, and his mix is of games like Kingdom hearts, Fallout 3, Overlord etc. and movies like Halloween and Star wars. So check it out if your interested! The story itself is called Universal war 2035.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Red Vs Blue, or Bungie.**

**Red Vs Blue Reality**

**Episode 5: Wild Hogs**

_Things have been awkward since Grif and I hugged, Simmons looks jealous, Alien looks edible and Grif looks like he wants another hug!_

_--Sarge a.k.a Mr. Sexy!_

"I'm just going to get right on with the task! You will have to drive a warthog around the gulch 3 times! First one to three laps wins the challenge!", Mr. Black jumped.

Sarge looked up, he wondered why Mr. Black was talking about.

"So we just choose who's gonna drive and that's it?", Tex asked.

"Good question! There will be one driver, one shotgun, and one turret gunner, the rest will use snipers to hit your mark!"

"Cool!", Jenkins yelled.

Mr. Black looked up, "Who said that!"

Everyone looked around, "No matter then lets get started meet me outside for the race in five!"

Donut and Caboose met each other after everyone started to leave. "Hey Chef-guy!", Donut called to the Brute.

He snarled with a dirty look on his face, "What!"

Donut got quiet, "What's your name?"

"Oh, it's Butch."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Butch!", Caboose said.

"Butch is my first name!"

"What..."

"My full name is Butch Er."

"Cool! Like Butcher!", Donut smiled

Butch smirked as he brought his butcher knife down on the meat, the blood splattered on their helmets,"It's exactly what IT means! Haha!"

"Oh, cool!", Donut repeated.

_Back outside: Blood Gulch_

"Red team your hog is on the left!"

Sarge saw the hog, the same one from two years ago, "HOGGY!"

He, Grif and Simmons ran toward it, but Lopez was already in the drivers seat, "Haha...as..sho..les!", Lopez danced in the driver's seat while Grif quickly snagged the shotgun seat, but was quickly knocked out by Sarge, and Alien and Washington stepped back for Simmons to get the turret.

"The turret has the biggest target on his head!", Washington said with Alien Blarging in agreement.

"Oh well, I like turret's because they're fun to- never mind someone will just make it into a sex joke!", Simmons replied. Washington and Alien just laughed.

Mr. Black moved to the blues, " We helped modify Sheila into the Hog so we have all players participating in-"

"SHEILA!!!"

"Hi, Caboose!", Sheila replied with a happy tone. "It's good to be back!"

Caboose quickly gained the drivers seat, Doc choose shot gun, and Tucker the Turret.

Mr. Black came back after a break, "OK, now everyone is ready, Snipers you ready?"

"Yes!"

"Hogs?"

"Yes!"

"GOOOOOO!!!"

The Hogs raced down the track, the Reds and Blues stayed tied within the first lap. With every snipe and turret shot missing the target.

"Damn, why does every snipe in this show miss!", Church yelled angrily.

"It's not the show! It's because we all suck at sniping!", Tex laughed .

"Whatever, I have skills!"

"OK, whatever, you say, Church!", She laughed some more, this time out loud. Church got so angry he turned to yell at her put pulled the trigger at the same time, shooting her leg. Everyone looked but just turned around to shoot again.

"You know your dead", Sarge yelled over to Church.

" I know, I know!", He replied.

The second lap was just like the first, evenly matched. No one in the cars had been shot off yet.

Caboose yelled to Tucker, " Shoot Simmons!", when he was got up to the other warthog he'd slow down for Tucker to shoot, but he would ultimately miss.

"Stop stopping! Just pass em that's all we need!"

"Look at Simmons, he's mocking us!", Caboose pointed to Simmons yelling something to them.

"You guys suck, my grandmother can do better! HAHAHA", suddenly there was a wizz through the air, and a "-Blegh!", sound came from Simmons, he fell to the ground, not five seconds after he was then run over by Caboose.

Donut yelled victoriously, "I did it I sniped someone!"

"Idiot! You shot Simmons!", His team screamed.

He looked sown to see Simmons body on the floor, "Oh, I did....Well did we still win!?"

The Blues quickly passed the Red team, Doc waved at the red's then at Sister. Sister saw in disgust and screamed, " Ew!", she looked back to see she accidentally shot Doc in the head.

The red's then passed them, Sarge looked back waving his butt in the air, singing we are the champions, but he quickly fell out when Tucker shot him 10 times with the turret.

Tucker picked up from what Sarge was singing, " We are the champions, we are-", he was quickly pulled out from a bleeding Sarge and Simmons, he was thrown to the ground and both Simmons and Sarge fell unconscious off Sheila.

"It is down to Lopez and Caboose!"

Caboose was losing gas and fast while Lopez was still ahead! "What do we do Sheila, were trailing!"

"There should be some rockets that you could hold up so we can go faster in my compartment!" Caboose grabbed some large red sticks that read DYNAMITE on them.

"These!?"

"No, honey those are fireworks!"

Caboose looked at the already lit fireworks, in a flash he threw them out, they hit the back of Sheila sending her and Caboose flying, hitting Lopez and the Red hog, the Red hog spiraled out of control, landing not one foot away from the finish while Sheila went way beyond that.

Mr. Black ran out with Butch, " Blue team wins! AGAIN!"

The red team went down to pick up their fallen friends on the battlefield, with their heads down.

Donut in confessional: " It's going to be me that goes home! Just watch!"

"All votes were cast! Let's tally them! Hmmm.... ok and the winner is!....."

" Sarge, Simmons, Washington, Grif, and Lopez your all safe!",Mr. Black smiled,"Now it's down to Donut and Alien!"

"......Alien, your gone!"

"BLARG!"

Donut looked surprised, " I'm staying!"

Grif smiled, "You may be stupider and not fun at all to hang with, but we can't understand a word he says!"

Sarge looked at Donut, "Screw up again, and your gone!'

"ye-s sir!", Donut saluted.

"blarg, blarg blarg blargity blarg blarg!", the Alien said to his new friends.

"Dude, seriously we can't tell what your saying!", Washington grumbled.

Mr. Black laughed, " Well, we will see you next time my viewers! BYE!"


	6. Episode 6: Stick it to them!

_**Note: Hey people, look I got the episode on time! HOORAY FOR ME! Also, at the end of this episode, there is a twist that I will need YOUR HELP ON! There will be an episode on Thursday because of this!**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs Blue, or Bungie.**

**Red vs Blue Reality **

**Episode 6: Stick it to them!**

_It has been a day since I and Sheila were blasted by dynamite to win the challenge-thingy! Sheila was put back into tank mode, I had to have ten stitches and Lopez had to get his head screwed on! Church says I need to get my head screwed on, but the doctor just said I was retardant, that was nice of him!_

_--Micheal J. Caboose_

Grif put his plate on the cafeteria table, "Can I have peas with the mystery meat?", He asked Butch.

"No...", He slopped on a big piece of red meat on the plate, then some green slime in a cup for Grif.

"Thanks, jerk...", He said as he walked to the table, Butch just snorted. Grif sat down on the Red's table, Donut, Washington and Sarge were working on a game plan, making sure that Donut would not screw it up.

"Alright, Donut, any challenge, any challenge at all, you stand at the back of the base, doing nothing at all.", Agent Washington told Donut.

"Sounds like a plan guys!", Donut smiled as he patted their backs.

"Don't touch me Donut, you disgust me!", Sarge cried as he ran out of the cafeteria, Grif and Simmons looked at each other, they started to laugh, they both did not really care if they won or not, they just wanted to get back to Valhalla. Sarge, well Sarge wanted to win at everything, Donut didn't want to let his team down, and Washington needed to win so he didn't go to the Detention facility again.

A black cloaked figure then burst into the room suddenly, he grabbed something that was a blur and threw it on the ground, everyone looked but they couldn't find what it was, then BOOM! A grenade went off everybody jumped and ran outside.

The figure jumped outside and stopped them,it was Mr. Black. "Hahaha! You guy's should have seen the look on your faces!"

"What the hell do you want Black?", Church yelled.

"It's time! For a challenge!"

Everyone gasped sarcastically, "Really? What is the challenge?", Tex asked.

"Simple, really, your throwing grenades at the other team!"

"Ooh, is there friendly fire?", Tex joked looking at Church, who was scared out of his mind when Tex would get him back from he, himself, accidentally shooting her in the leg with a sniper, Tex never thought anything was 'accidental'.

"Well, DUH, of course there is!"

"When do we start?", there was a flash they were on top of their bases, and Black yelling, 'GO!!!'

There was hours of flying grenades, big explosions, and close calls. But no one was out yet, then, it started to get good.

"Simmons, you hit your mark, but they keep moving, you see Doc and Sister right there, they're waiting for you to throw so wait!"

"Yes sir!", Sarge smiled, he looked back at Grif.

"How's Donut doing back there?"

"He's annoying me! STOP DONUT MY FACE IS NOT A CHEW TOY! What did you give him anyway."

"The man called it, Coke, I didn't know soda could be so white or make you so weird!", Sarge wondered, Grif just sighed, then noticed something on Sarge.

"Hey, Sarge, you have something on your shoulder, it's blue!"

"Whoa, maybe it's some kind of, alien life form!", Sarge started to pet the strange object.

"Sir, I don't think-"

"Quiet! I think ill name you-BOOM!", Grif just sighed.

"One down! Five to go!" Sister Yelled.

"Dang-it!", yelled Washington.

"It's alright I got em in my-a flash went off and Simmons's was on fire!"

"AGHHHHH!", He ran out of the base screaming, Grif took a hose and washed him off, but he was still out.

"Yes, were such a good team!", Doc tried to hug Sister.

"Doc! I told you once before, I like-", another flash, Washington pinned them both with a sticky, before they could move, it was over for them.

"Grif, get up here so we could team up and beat em! Leave Donut down there!"

"OK, I'm coming! Where's Lopez?"

_Blue Base:_

"So, Sheila, how was it like to be a tank?", Lopez asked.

"It's cool, hey what happened to your accent?"

Caboose saw both of them, he ran towards them in a rage of jealously. " Hey, Lopez! Get off of my lady, tank, person."

"Back off, idiot im just asking her a question! We both don't want to be on this show and-" A flash hit Lopez he was obliterated, but his sticky grenades went off hitting both Sheila and Caboose, they also, went flying.

"Cabooooosssseeeeee, you idddddiiooooot!", Sheila screamed as her big tank body hit the ground.

"Well it's up to Me, ugh Tex, and you Tucker!", Church said hiding behind the desk to Tucker.

"And me sir!", Jenkins scared Church.

"Right and you Jenkins, let's go!" They ran upstairs yelling when they saw a person they shuddered to see, Tex.

"Hello boys, if you'll just step aside so I can take out Church."

"You'll never take me alive!", He ran downstairs, Tex threw a grenade to try and hit him but it hit Jenkins, out of nowhere.

"Ahh, it's good to be a part of this show!", Jenkins said, as he was about to blow, BOOM!

Tex ran past him, " Sorry, Jenkins!"

"It's O..okay."

_Red base:_

"What the hell is going on in there?", Washington said as he heard the explosions.

"Were not even fighting!", Grif laughed. Donut jumped on his back, and just made a weird sound.

"Okay, were going over there!"

They started to walk, all of a sudden Tucker and Church ran past them, Grif had two stickies on him, and then BOOM!

"No! Grif!", Washington said, he threw a grenade, which hit Tucker in the back, it exploded, but it was to late, Washington was hit with a grenade too. BOOM!

Church laughed victoriously,"Ha! Now all we need to find-" A grenade was thrown onto him. " Crap!"

BOOM! Tex walked over to Church, " I got you! HA!", she held up her hand in victory!

Suddenly, a voice came from above the canyon, it was Donut, " Hey bitch! Remember ME!"

"Uh-oh", she said as a sticky was thrown onto her head, it blasted her helmet off and she went flying!

"RED'S WIN, RED'S WIN IT! FINALLY!", The red's rejoiced with their win, while the blue's went to the alien landing for a vote-off.

Sarge came up, " It's all thanks to a special person, who made our win even sweeter than it was supposed to...", Donut walked to give his thanks for recognising him, finally and... "ME! I was the one that made it all POSSIBLE HAHA!", Sarge danced around, Donut just sat there, quietly, but Washinton and Grif gave him a pat on the back anyways, because he was the true hero this time around!

_Alien Landing Vote-off:_

"OK, here are the votes!"

Jenkins, Church, Tex, you are safe, as well as Sheila, and Tucker, it's down to Doc and Sister.

"Wait, 3 of you voted for Doc and 3 of you voted for Sister! "

"Yeah, becuase they both lost first, at the exact same time!", Church said, angrily.

"Hehe, here's what we will do! Now we have to ask the WORLD what we should do!"

_**New episode Thursday for who you guys choose to go off, **__**vote by going to my poll on my profile page and vote either DOC OR SISTER! If your having problems with the poll on my page, then just PM me your answer!**_


	7. Episode 7: Reality bites back!

_**Note: Hey guys! Thanks to the people for voting! Sorry, voting was short, I am leaving Friday- Sunday then again Monday- Thursday, so look for the new chapter up Thursday OR Friday. Since we tested out the voting mechanism, or poll. I will have the the last two contestants on a poll, and you will choose the winner, I probably won't make the Finale for a whole week, so we get enough votes!**_

**Note: I don't own Red Vs Blue, or Bungie.**

**Red vs Blue Reality**

**Episode 7: Reality bites back!**

_This vote off is intense, I know it's Doc that's going home! They like me WAY better than him! He's a pervert! I know Tucker voted for me! Plus Grif! Oh wait, he's not on my team! Wait, what..._

"Sister, your done, pack your things and take the vulture home!"

Sister jumped out of her seat, "What! How could I be voted off!"

"Sorry, but please, go!"

"Fine, but Tucker..."

"Huh, what?"

"I just wanted to say that I know you-ugh!", The Brute pulled her away, "Get off! TUCKER!"

"Ohhk, odd.", Tucker said and everyone agreed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_The next day..._

Sheila was going out for a morning drive when Lopez stopped her.

"Listen, I know you don't want to be here, so let's both get voted off!"

"Why, Lopez, I like it here! I...I started to have feelings for one of the humans, I know it's wrong but-"

"WHAT! I knew it! I knew I could never trust a-a..."

"A what?...Lopez?...."

"A woman robot!", Sheila gasped, Lopez was chased around, barley missing a canon to the face, but then, a voice was heard.

"MORNING PEOPLE! TIME TO WAKE UP!"

Everyone went outside to see the grinning suit of Sinister Black. " What do you want?"

"Time for the next challenge!"

"Hey, Tucker do you like cheese?"

"No, Caboose, I don't!"

"Now?!"

"NOW! I have some friends who want to see you!", out came 4 people with snipers, everyone gasped. Andy, who was now alive, Rudolf with blue armor, Alien, and Sister, all stood. "Who ever is the first team to be annihilated by the sniper's loses!

Simmons whined, " But won't they just go for us!?"

"Oh no, no, no, we had a stern talk, they have to wear neck braces, if they hit you with pure jealousy or rage, they get shocked and your still in!"

Grif held up his two thumbs, " Cool!"

"You may start!", as Mr. Black left, Grif was instantly shot by Alien.

"Damn!"

"Alright, form up so we can hide at our-", Sarge was shot too.

Suddenly a voice screamed, "RUN! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"

Church gabbed Tex's hand as everyone went nuts, " now that were even let's get out of here before one of us gets shot."

"Good idea!", They both started to run as fast as they could, Church heard some shot's whizzing by his ear. Tex looked to see he was using her as a shield, hiding behind her, before she could get a word out, she was pinned down by bullets. Church chuckled as he walked maybe five feet and was shot too.

Caboose asked Tucker, if he liked cheese, but Tucker just said he was on fire, which ultimately sent him to run around in circles.

"Remember! We need to take out Doc, and kill him!", Sister said.

"Why again?", Rudolf asked.

"Because I'm paying you to kill him!"

"Blarg!"

Simmons and Lopez hid behind a weapons trunk, Tucker saw them and headed for it, they saw him and told him to go away, but he headed like he was going to push them out, they both looked away and screamed... "What?", Simmons looked, Tucker had been shot.

"I got Doc! Well a blue idiot at least.", Andy yelled.

"That's not Doc, keep trying!", Sister sighed.

Caboose was hit 20 times but still was running in circles. Donut was also hit trying to get Caboose to stop. Simmons and Lopez ran to a hill, but Simmons was shot leaving Lopez last on his team.

Sheila and Lopez met up, " One last shot sweet cheeks, or I'm going it alone."

Sheila sighed, "No, I won't, I was finally reunited with the Blue team and I had missed them for so long while I was Destroyed, I know you hate your team but-"

"Whatever, screw you!", He ran away, Sheila started to drive back. Jenkins was hit while the team tried to hit Sheila.

"Doc! Hey Doc! Where are you?"

"I'm hiding! Get in here! Or were done for! I can't be shot their actually trying to kill me!"

"I can't, I can't fit!"

"Wait I have an idea! Stay out there!", He came out looking all bloodied up, "I'm dead! Oh sorrow, ECK! UGH! OHHH!"

They shrugged as if he were dead, but Sister shot him in the balls, making him really out.... now just down to Sheila and Lopez.

Sheila hid behind her base, they were looking for Lopez anyway, she was home safe, but there was a ticking sound, it started to annoy her and she couldn't find the source, she turned her head to see a bomb implanted on her back. "OH SHI-", A giant blast filled the air the tank head of what was left of her flew the the center of the Gulch, she was shot, her team lost the challenge.

Lopez walked over, " Sorry your team lost, I'd rather you go home and me stay here one more challenge than you be happy with your 'team' they'll just betray you tonight, watch! No one cares about you Sheila, except for me, because robot's are robot's Sheila, that's what we'll be forever, there's no human friends in this world, just human savages!"

She managed to get out, " Your wrong....your wrong Lop-ez. Watch!"

_Vote off:_

"Sorry, Sheila, but your gone!"

"I can't believe it, you did betray me!"

"Sorry Sheila! You lost us the challenge we all voted for you!", Doc smiled, Sheila was carried out but turned to Caboose.

"You know Caboose, I expected this from the others, but not you.", Caboose just looked at her, then turned.

"Tucker, do you like CHEESE?"

"NO CABOOSE!", Tucker yelled angrily.

After she was already gone, Tex remembered, "I didn't vote her out... that's wierd.", everyone exept Doc and Caboose were thinking they didn't vote her out, Caboose was thinking about cheese and...

FLASHBACK;DOC:

"I'm not going home! Not tonight, so I am switching all of my cards, gave them some drugs in thier punch so they don't really remember who they voted for, and giving them to the person I'm voting which is....enie meanie...SHEILA! Suck it Sister! Im not going home tonight, granted that when they remember, Im in troble, but Im still not out tonight!", he then shook his head like something was in him, then the camera went to Mr. Black.

"Well, see you next time!"

_**To be continued... Really short chapter, and honestly, not that good, but I promise the next episode WILL make up for it!**_


	8. Episode 8: Grifball

_**Note: Hey guys! IM BACK! I had a good week on vacation but anyway, I promised you a great episode, check out the music I put it, I plan on making some movie references and song references, so look out for them! Have your search engines ready to listen to the songs that I dish out in the episode!**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue, or Bungie.**

**Red vs Blue Reality**

**Episode 8: Grifball!**

_Day 1: Dear Diary, tis is my first recording of everything, it seems all seems calm._

_Day 3: Nothing weird yet, we did, however meet 'the suspect' he seems odd, he changes his name every five seconds, his body is filled with worms, that aliens seem to like, let's just hope I can keep this whole charade before I go insane!_

_Day 4: The red's finally won a challenge, telling them I want to win because I have to go back to jail after this, sucks, I hate lying to them! But it's cool to actually do these challenges, even though I have to act like an idiot!_

_Day 5: It seems the suspect is controlling an mind on my team and on the other team, he's at least controlling one, and I will find out!_

_--Agent Washington_

"Washington! Get over here! It's my birthday!", Sarge yelled to Washington, who was just finishing his 5th day in his journal. " Also, put that diary down boy! Get a man's journal!"

"It is?", Washington, putting the journal down running in the room, where everyone was celebrating with a cake.

"No! But come celebrate our victory!

"Also, it's a journal, sir, not a diary!"

"Diary!", Sarge coughed. Washington just shook his head and walked to get some cake.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Blue base, the next day:_

"Man, what happened last night?", Church said to an upside down Tucker, while Church was trying to shoo a tiger that was in the bathroom with him when he woke up.

Caboose was crying and there was tissues all over, some with blood and missing teeth in some tissues.

Tex woke up outside, next to a pack of wild bears, who she kept calling the 'Reel big fish' and asking them to play "Monkey Man" for her.

"I didn't even know Tex liked Reel big fish!", Tucker said while wriggling himself out from the upside down bed, then he fell unto a burning couch.

_30 minutes later:_

"Caboose! Stop crying man!", Church sighed as he and Tex were picking tissues around the base.

Caboose sobbed, " The worst part is...I don't even remember doing it!"

"I do, she was a jerk to me!", Tucker said. But then stopped, "Were talking about Tex right?"

The night before, they were drugged by a certain doctor person, he also drugged himself after the vote off, which was the cause of these events. Doc then came out, " What happened, you guys? Why was I feeling so, evil, yesterday, and why is all our stuff messed up? Those damn reds!", Doc not knowing what really happened, either.

"Our guess is as good as yours! We still don't even remember why we voted off Sheila."

"Didn't she have a demon in her or something?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh right, who was that? Where's Jenkins?"

Tucker ran inside, " You guys! Jenkins stole a police car last night!", they all went outside, Jenkins was sleeping in the driver seat of a new, late 2100 something, police car, crashed into the right side of the base.

Church was so exited he ran in and sat in the driver's seat, cranking up the tunes, listening to 'Won't back down' by Tom Petty. "Aw, where's the Reel big fish!", Tex said angrily.

Suddenly, there was a bump from the car, Tucker opened it, and a strange naked man jumped out, hitting him over the head with his cane three times, kicking Doc in the balls, and roundhouse kicked Caboose in the head, then proceeded to run out of the Gulch.

"Which leads back to, what happened last night!", Church questioned. He turned to Caboose, " Hey Caboose, up for a drive?"

"I don't know... Church-"

"Come on buddy, you can ride shotgun!"

"Can Tucker get the trunk!", Church looked at Tucker, he just sighed and put himself in the trunk.", He got in and then whispered something in Churches ear, he nodded, then Caboose put a special CD in....

STRAWBERRY LETTERS 23

SHUGGIE OTIS

DATE: I DON'T KNOW IM IN THE LATE 2100's!

The police car went bumping toward the Red's, they all looked outside.

Sarge screamed on sight, "Oh, god, they rigged a car with explosives and are headed for a suicide mission! Plus, Strawberry letter's not Grif's favorite song! GOD HELP!!", with Grif singing every nook and cranny in the song.

The track ended, then played:

HANGIN AROUND

COUNTING CROWS

Both Sarge and Tucker screamed with horror, "NOT DONUT'S FAVORITE SONG!"

Donut jumped and did a 360 in the air, he and Caboose, who got out of the car, they both started singing:

"She sat right down on the sofa, asking where have you been?"

About 3 minutes later...

"Way way way too long! Geez, I love that song, how about you Caboose!"

"Yes!"

"AHEM!", a voice said, " You want to hear a good song, listen to this!", It was Mr. Black and Butch, with a harmonica and guitar in hand.

BAND: BLUES TRAVELER

SONG: BUT ANYWAY

Butches guitar solo brought tears to some eyes, but it was Black's harmonica that stole the show, there was not a tear eye, even his, from playing so hard.

"Alright, enough, let's get on with the challenge, I need you to follow Mr. Butcher to the cafeteria, to the passage to the Grifball area!"

Sarge and Simmons hugged each other, "Yes, our favorite game!", they jumped joyfully to the Grifball area, getting the gear and hammers ready, only to hit Grif about 10,000 times.

"Now, if anyone is in, let us get to the rules!"

"We already know the rules!"

"Ah, but not the modified rules!"

"Man, your seriously tweaking the best game since sliced bread.", Simmons grumbled, he just nodded then preceded to read the rules.

"Rule number one: there are 4 players, 1 Grif, and 2 people using the controllers to control Grif, one person will sit out.", the contestants gasped at the thought of playing like that, they then went along with the plan, despite it's absurdness, I mean controlling something that's not yourself, a tank or a vulture that was just plain madness! With a remote control, none the less!

"Pick who will be doing what please!"

Blue:

"We choose Myself, Tex, Caboose, and Doc will be playing. Tucker will be controlling Grif."

"Uh-huh, and I'm guessing Jenkins will be sitting out?", Church was utterly surprised at the fact he forgot Jenkins. He looked at Jenkins, who's head was turned to the side completely.

"It's-alright,you just, forgot, again!", he said in an angry tone.

"Alright, Jenkins, I'll make it up!"

"You always say that. When ARE you going to make it up?"

"....."

"Church!"

"FANTASTIC!"

"CHURCH! ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT UP OR NOT!?"

"OKAY!!"

"STOP IT!"

Caboose then screams louder then both of them, "LOUD NOISES!"

Red:

"We have Me, Lopez, Simmons, Washington, and Donut as the control!"

"Alright! Line up on each side, oh and rule number 2: when you are knocked out, your out until the next round!"

"What!?"

"GO!!!"

The teams were faced at each other, they both ran towards each other, Donut was the one to get the ball, but was hammered by Caboose, but Lopez came and knocked him out as well.

Doc, who started to dance like he was on something, was all of a sudden all jittery, he then stopped and went crazy, smashing Simmons and Sarge to the ground, Lopez held his ground and swung but missed him, Doc swung knocking Lopez to the ground, and Washington, just stood there, looking at them, he then ran as fast as he could away from the team as they charged.

WONT GET FOOLED AGAIN, was playing by The Who, the result ended that the blues won.

"What, happened...", Doc asked after the match.

"You won us the game, that's all that matters!", Church said.

"Yeah, what, I did! I knew I would be good at this game, how could I not remember?"

"Not sure, but you need to rest now, you look wiped.", Tex explained.

"Yeah, I guess so, Jenkins, can you go out there?"

"Sure!"

The next match started, this time, it was Sarge acting weird, he took Church and Tex out in one swift blow.

_Round 2:_

Simmons was all of a sudden knocked out, Caboose jumped on Washington, then slashed him with an energy sword, " I love these things!"

" Hello Caboose!", Lopez ran toward Caboose, he threw his energy sword at him, Caboose blocked it, they engaged in an energy sword duel, "It's funny, how I put the bomb that took out your friend Sheila, well, I thought it was funny!"

"What!? Lopez, you-you, EVIL PERSON!"

"Yes, I am evil! Ha! But I am not who you think I am, I have come to stop another evil-"

Caboose heard enough, he raised his sword, but then fell backward on Sarge's sword.

"You're not Sarge, get out of my master!", Lopez then turned around, " Lopez, stop talking!"

"Ah, O'mally, and what, the Director!," Sarge laughed, "Opposites attract, I guess, come to stop me?O'mally what happened to being evil?"

"I'm gone after this, for good, once your dead, we can-", Sarge plunged his sword into Lopez.

Lopez fell backward, Sarge looked to see the bomb gone, Jenkins grabbed it, turning into Grif, then putting it down, so Sarge wouldn't see him, unfortunately, this wasn't Sarge, he walked up and slashed him. The red's won.

_Round 3_

"Washington, take formation, Donut, get up, Grif doesn't control himself, even in real life!", Sarge was back, Doc was back too.

The game started, Doc ran for the ball, but the whole Red team charged, Doc was hit in the face then both legs, the crotch, and, finally, both hands.

"Ouchie..."

Church took out Sarge, Simmons then decked Church, Tex came up, somehow with a flamethrower, and destroyed Simmons, Washington ran toward Tex, they said nothing, Tex shot the flames, and Washington charged with the hammer, but they were both taken down by Lopez, who took out Tex, and Caboose, who slashed Wash.

It was a standoff, Lopez and Caboose circled each other,

"Caboose, If your not going to listen to reason, then I will have to take you out of the competition myself! Church needs to stay here, I need your, Sheila, and Washington's help!"

"No, your going to pay for what you did, you monster!", Caboose ran so fast towards him, he couldn't see of seen it coming, Lopez fell, Caboose kicked him into the bomb which rolled into the pocket, blowing it up, winning the blues victory.

_Red elimination:_

Everyone choose the votes, they all looked at Lopez angrily, "Well, everyone except one...", He double checked and then continued, " It's Lopez, goodbye...", he then looked at him, and turned walking away, smiling.

"Listen! They aren't who they say they are, I can't help you as anyone else-", Lopez was thrown in the vulture, which closed, he slammed his fist on the back windows as it left. He looked directly at Washington, Washington nodded, he walked with the others, he continued to write in his journal.

_Day 6: I know what I have to do, thanks to the AI's O'mally and the Director..._He looked up, then continued,_...Dr. Leonard L. Church..._

He closed the book and looked up, with DREAM ON in the backround, and everything faded to black...

_**To be continued...**_

_**I had to rush to finish it early, because I wasn't going to make it after I said it would be done.**_


	9. Episode 9: Director's Letter

_**Note: Sorry I have been gone so long hopefully you guys still are checking for updates, the last chapter made some confused, so I will hopefully clear up that confusion in this chapter: also I may take a break after 3 to 5 more chapters to work on another story. Like I said before, It's Fallout, and it's a bit different from this. Also with so much work at school I may take 2 weeks to write each chapter.**_

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT own Bungie or Red VS Blue**

**Red Vs Blue Reality**

**Episode 9: Q&A Pt.1 (Director's Letter)**

_So I was captured by Black and his crew of ugly aliens, O'mally escaped, he got out of Lopez just in time for me to be stuck in him for a while, I wish I had killed him before the past me created the ripple, he killed Omally in the past, but not the future, that's when Meta hit afterward, then Black then the rest of the UAOB (Unidentified Aliens Of Blackness) showed up. Then I became the Director, after that it was me and a few others that had survived, O' Mally showed up again. I knew this was the cause of the ripple I in the past made. I helped O'mally because he knew Black was hosting a TV show for unexplained reasons, and he needed to kill black for unexplained reasons. I never asked why._

_Black allowed me 3 questions of any sort except any about his plans. I asked where he came from, he said that, he came from another alternate non ripple universe, where he and 8 of the strongest warriors were sent here, to find the ones who destroyed the Blue Database that made them the Black team. Captain Black himself wanted no part of this, he fled and found the aliens. They made him their leader and told them about the Blue and Red's fighting on TV, he instantly wanted that show for his own to basically gain profit._

_My second question was to why he didn't just kill them then make his own show, he replied, "because this is more fun." I felt bad for my former self because he had been bought out by Black's newfound company of evil. The former owners of the show had sold their rights to the show for a Quadrillion Alternate Alien Bucks, which I found out that is 1 cent here in our universe. My last question of the day was why he didn't just keep them at Valhalla, it had more resources, materials and other things, he walked my back to my cell, he grinned as he took out and put a tape that read EPISODE 9-11 and told me to 'Just watch'. Wait, what is that_

_END TRANSMISSION _

_TO BE CONTINUED..._


	10. Episode 9 part 2: Q&A

_I do not own Red Vs Blue or Halo_

_**Red vs blue reality episode 9.5 : Q & A**_

Caboose looked up at the sky and wondered why he was there, I mean he could have voted himself off all these times, not because of his stupidity, but him wanting to get out of this hell hole. This was the single most intelligent thing he had ever said for the next thing that came out of his mouth was, " I like the stars!"

"Caboose shut up!", a voice said. He was angry that no one thought he was smart enough to play the game but he knew.

A voice suddenly came, " Hello everyone! Come here so I can tell you our new challenge today.", It was Sinister black, the game show host, a cool looking alien thing." This next game will be a 2 part battle to see who will be in the top ten!"

"So in other words two of us are going home!", Grif exclaimed.

"Yes, yes two will leave today! The first part is this way!"

They traveled to a part of the canyon that had been changed to a game show, it all had their names on it.

"Blue, choose one person to sit out!"

"Caboose!", he sighed and sat down to watch.

"Captains! You will be asked about your team members, it goes on and on until someone misses, the person who misses will likely be voted out. Ready?"

"Yea!"

"Of course!"

"Alright! First question is who on your team is the loudest."

Sarge: Donut CORRECT!

Church: Caboose CORRECT!

"Tex and Grif are up!"

Q: Who on your team do you think is gay?

Tex: Doc

Grif: Simmons

CORRECT!

"Next is Simmons and Tucker!"

Who is the nicest person on your team!?

Simmons: Sarge

Tucker: Church

CORRECT!

Washington and Jenkins!

Who is the leader of your group?

Washington: Sarge

Jenkins: Church

" Now its sudden death! Donut and Doc! Your Question is who out of everyone, deserves the prize?"

Black laughed, he had chosen it so when Doc goes up he chooses himself, which would be the answer...but he couldn't take control...

Doc? "Oh Tex, of course!"

Donut? "I choose Tex too!"

Tex smiled, INCORRECT showed up on the screen, a claw shot out to take both of them away, Donut immediately screamed, " Help, someone help me and Doc!"

DONUT: CORRECT

"Wah? YES!"

Doc was taken away screaming "NO!", Black had Doc no more, and he fell to the ground, his anger raged, then he thought of something, Doc was the smartest player, he knew Tex would win and ruin his project at the same time.

"Alright, the next person to go home has already been chosen! TEX! Your nae was the other one called, your gone!"

Church screamed, " WHAT! That's part two!"

Tex got up and walked to the vulture which took her away, she didn't seem mad.

Church ran to the vulture, saying goodbye, she just waved.

Black smiled, " Now my plans are in order with no smart contestant! I WILL HAVE MY OWN SHOW! MUHAHAHAHA!"

**To be continued tomorrow! Episode ten, then this weekend 11 and 12 to get up to speed!**


End file.
